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26 Mar 2012 - 12:5881460
Meeting/Getting to know cosplayers
So I've been to a fair few Expos and am finally gathering the courage to go to my first proper con this year.
I'm scared of going alone and being lonely. I can often be shy when I first meet people and tend to think they judge me.

However there are cosplayers I have met in the past that I would like to get to know more.
But if I walk up to them if I see them, I expect them not to remember who I am and then be slightly creeped out at me wanting to get to know them.
Plus, they already have their own friends and their own close group of cosplayers. I can't help but think that they wouldn't want to be friends because they have no reason to need more friends.

Is it too weird just to send them a Facebook message saying I really admire their work?
Should I go up to them if I see them and see if they remember me and move on if they don't?

Once I get to know someone, it's fine. I can talk as much as the day is long. I'm just finding it very hard to make that first step beyond acquaintances and have done for a few years.

Any help/suggestions?
I'm sure I can't be the only one who feels like this...

26 Mar 2012 - 13:0581461
I'd love a bit of advice on this as well. I'm shy by nature, so I tend to go for louder people that I know will be able to keep a convo going, but I dont feel like this is fair and the other percentage of the time I get slightly creepy people who I would prefer to be able to get away from quickly...

26 Mar 2012 - 14:2181464
No it's not weird to do those things so long as you don't think it is. Put it this way- how would you feel if someone messages you telling you how much they admire you as a cosplayer? Good because that's how they would feel! So why not?

Seriously- I do it and that's how I get friends, and I used to be like you girls- never looking back at all.

Just do what feels good. Be brave, don't think about it. Go go

26 Mar 2012 - 16:4081474
I am shy too but I have been to 5 cons (plus a few Expos) and Ill let you know how I know all my friends I know today

If you have any anime/cosplay meets in your town, give them a try Recon style events, anime societies and unnoficial cosplay meet ups are great for knowing local cosplayers.

How I met my gang was sign up for Ame 08 (before knowing any cosplay peeps XD), find that there was a Tokyopop recon that some of the Nottingham Amecon goers were going to, went there, find out in that building there was a weekly anime club happening and became a weekly member since.

In an actual con it can be a slight challenge for shy goers due to the size of the event(I know the feeling) but you'll never know who you'll meet! I find cons more relaxed than Expos and the people there are more willing to mix in with other groups.

A good way to start a conversation is giving them a nice complement about their costume Discuss about the series if you know it or if you dont know it well find out more about it. This can go a long way.

There might be situations where someone is alone for a few moments (like waiting for someone) or waiting in line for a panel. The best moments of these for me were waiting in line in preparation to go on stage for Masquerades, discussing masq experiences and being nervous together (or calming eachother down XD). Also if a freind is meeting someone who hadnt met yet they might be nice enough to want to allow you to become a friend of their's too!

Alcon 2016

26 Mar 2012 - 17:5781478
To boost my confidence in getting to know cosplayers, i joined a cosplay group ~ If theres a siries you particulary like and a character in that siries you enjoy cosplaying, it is really fun to join a group XD Its a good way to talk to other cosplayers, get there opions on cosplays etc..
Otherwise, if you see a big group at expo, dont be afrid to speak to them!
Or theres cosplay picnic/meets you can go to in London etc..
Not sure if this helped, but meh XD

26 Mar 2012 - 18:2581479
You know, I'd really love to join a cosplay group. I'm part of a CLAMP one which started up on facebook recently, but I'd love to find one in my area as none of my other friends take cosplay as seriously as I do.

26 Mar 2012 - 18:3281481
I know when I go to conventions I always feel awkward hanging around people for too long because i'm not good a socializing. Even people I have met before. i'm always worried i'm gonna come off either as bitchy or just really wierd. However then I also worry about looking bitchy for not talking for too long to anyone. It's one of those things if people are already in a group. you feel intimadated because you don't want to be like a third wheel, but you also don't wanna look like the person who wont interact, or the group that wont let others in.

I know it's been difficult in the past for me to have a conversation with new people if one of the people i came to the convention with don't understand what we are talking about, as it makes them uncomfotable and they want to leave. which means i usually have to end the conversation and leave. although I wish i didnt always have to

I've found that convention wise, the bar and the kitchen are usualy the best places to get to know people better. Your not rushing around going to events or the next dealers table, and you can sit down and talk about common interests (as well as get drunk)

as for the internet I understand that people worry about comming on too strong and seeming a bit wierd, but like Manticore says. I think they would be happy to get the recognition. it's a nice ego boost.

I'm always acting creepy going around talking to cosplayers i really admire or if i recognise them at conventions from these forums. most of those conversations are usualy
"OMG your from cosplay island. I love your stuff. And you are cosplaying from . can I have a photo?. Really cool costume by the way.... well... bye" people probably think i am a bit wierd, but thats just how I am XD

26 Mar 2012 - 18:4281483
I'm quite shy myself but must admit cosplayers tend to be easier to get to start conversations with (obviously as you can compliment the outfit, ask for a photo etc). Most people at cons are really easy going and once you get over the first barrier of nerves there's a good chance conversation will flow easily.

I met two of my closest friends at last year's Kitacon, I asked for a photo and then we got talking, didn't take long til we were swapping numbers and stuff. Yeah, it was scary to ask at first but I'm really glad I did and this is a good way to get to know people/make friends.

It is admittedly scary at first if you're not full of confidence, I struggle too. But cons tend to be better than expos for meeting people as you tend to get more time to hang around and they're on for longer etc.

Gues what I'm trying to say is - I know it can be nerve-wrecking but go for it . Most people will love to talk to you and if not then well, you conquered your shyness and hopefully the next try will have better results.

Talk loads on websites like this one and especially the site for the con you're attending.

27 Mar 2012 - 12:0881517
Thanks for the suggestions and help guys, but I think you've all answered the question I didn't quite ask =p

I'm not so bad with meeting people for the first time and chatting to them then. And I feel confidentish that if I just get stuck into it at cons, that'll be able to make friends.

My problem comes with talking to people after I've met them. Recognising them at a convention but thinking they'll probably not remember me and then I just seem creepy.
Sure I can tell them I love their cosplays (though that does sometimes seem a little creepy, like you've been stalking them) but if that's all you have to say and they're not interested then that's not good =/

27 Mar 2012 - 18:3781543
Ah sorry about that ^.^

What I tend to do is take a notebook. If you make friends ask them to write their number or email address etc. Then you can contact them a day later or so and then the con is fresh in both your minds rather than waiting a month or so or hoping to see them at another con.

27 Mar 2012 - 19:3081547
I don't think people will take it as stalkerish =]
It's generally a really nice surprise to have someone take the time to approach you and compliment your work - I doubt anyone would feel freaked out by your praise!

If you want it to progress it from there have a topic ready at hand to start /a future costume they're planning or something you plan to do that corresponds to one of their costumes. Also ensure the person in question wasn't about to rush off for a shoot etc.
/It's easier for photographers as they can pretty much request if the person wants a shoot and thus gain more time to bond XD;

I generally find the best way to meet new people is to cosplay with them =]
If you're planning a costume for the event do a search for anyone doing the same series - generally groups begin to get formed online so pop your name down. It's much easier to begin chatting as - if you're stuck for a topic - just talk about the series you're both cosplaying from. =]

Another bonus about cons is by the evening raves the majority of attendees are a bit merry from drink - so it's pretty easy to siddle up to people and chat aimlessly - only issue is to ensure they're not to far gone that they wont recognise you in the morning ;]

//I'm terribad at remembering people. They constantly change with all the wigs/costumes and makeup. The best way to do it would be to approach them with the air of someone who knows them - so a confident greeting and such - and try and merge your original meeting into your beginning conversation - aka
Hey! I've not seen you since that madoka shoot we did last may - how have you been!
Cheesey - but works like a godsend. If everyone introduced themselves like that to me I know my life would be less embarrassing on my half while I struggle to recall them mid convo XD;;


Last edited by Emzone (27 Mar 2012 - 19:36)
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