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31 Aug 2013 - 09:42106721
It's my birthday and everyone is expecting me to be happy and do stuff and things, but I'm proper miserable about it...

I feel awful about it, but I just can't appreciate the birthday wishes I've gotten already. My mum gave me my birthday card and it just made me cry. I didn't want to hold it, let alone open it.

I'm pretty sure it's the tablets I'm on; it lists psychological changes as a common side effect... But I don't know what to do...


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Ayacon Plans
31 Aug 2013 - 10:00106722
That happened to a friend of mine with the steroids she was on for a time, she had lots of mood changes and tiredness etc. Remember it's the meds, not you. You said the meds were to help you get better so assuming you're coming off them in the not distant future? In which case postpone birthday yayness till then and you can enjoy that when you come out of the other side of this. Which you will, so hold onto that!


31 Aug 2013 - 19:40106725
They're only a week course, but they to treat a bacterial infection and my doctor thinks it's a possibility I have glandular fever, which means I'd have taken these stupid tablets for nothing if that's the case.


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Ayacon Plans
31 Aug 2013 - 23:26106740
Im just super stressed at the moment!

I will be seeing the course leader of the Uni I am hoping to go to on Monday to see if my work is going to be suitable to start in year 2 as SF are only able to cover for me to study for 2 years. Despite taking the criticisms in mind and adding my portfolio accordingly I am still in fear of half a year or so of planning and excitement is going to be a waste

Im aware it is better than a straight no but the wait is so painful ><

EDIT

I just dont know what to do anymore...

Had the interview yesterday and didnt get the answer until today. I was told to start from year 1 but how am I gonna get the funding in so little time?

Im gonna discuss it with my parents later. Didnt get a straight 'no', but year two is gonna be alot to catch up on and I just told them Ill think about it but might be able to get on it regardless with some persuasion. Doubt id get the funding in time for year 1 because its gonna be a lot of money Im gonna need to gather in a short amount of time.

Im feeling I am losing motivation because I have been messed around so much concerning places but I dont want to give it up completely!



Last edited by Psychoelle (03 Sep 2013 - 12:16)
07 Sep 2013 - 12:39106919
Uber rant coming. Sorry.

I am feeling confused, frustrated, and angry right now. I really an't deal with all the s*** right now!

Firstly, I am really confused by someone's behaviour. It's a painful situation made worse by the fact no one seems to want to help me understand. I tried to talk to one friend, and I basically got 'shut up' in return. I get compared to certain other people when it isn't fair to anyone. This just leaves me feeling like no one actually gives a crap about me, or that they actually understand how I think or feel.

I'm felt out of everything as well. No one seems to want to talk to me, or want to do anything with me.

Been on Zero Hours now for way too long. At his point it feels like I don't have a job any more. I really didn't think it would this long. I thought I was good at my job. This however make me feel otherwise, like I'm not actually good for anything. This made worse by the fact I cannot find a job elsewhere. I've applied and applied. Had jobs sent to me. Calls and emails from agencies. And what do I have? Diddily Squat!

Add to all that cabin fever and no income. So yeah everything sucks.


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08 Sep 2013 - 13:58106954
Been an awful week. Not only I cannot afford to go to Uni but I had to rush my Rottweiler/GSD cross to the animal hospital this morning due to drug poisoning.

My dad woke me up and said that the puppy had chewed some tablets after explaining to a certain person in the family a zillion times to keep them out of the way as she likes to chew things. We arrived and when we explained the situation the outcome was much worse than we thought. Not only we could have had a huge vet bill, but there is no guarantee she would survive and if she did some of the damage would be lifelong. The guy who checked her didnt seem all that reliable and we couldnt afford any of the treatments available (they demanded the payment right away for a minimum of 300 quid!) so we are gonna take her to the local vets asap as we never said a bad word about them and we could trust them well enough, plus they are much more realistic about payments, focusing more on the pets' health than the money. Im so worried for her and have a job interview first thing.

All I want is for her to get better.


12 Sep 2013 - 11:56107106
Really trying to decide if doing something is a good idea or not. Long story short, I'm worried it might make a bad situation worse. On the other hand I think it may need to be done and is a little bit overdue.

Of course the only other thing I can think of doing is something I know is very bad idea.


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Last edited by Ice-climber (12 Sep 2013 - 11:57)
24 Sep 2013 - 12:37107525
I found out last night my best friend has Cancer... I'm still not entirely sure what to do or to say. All I can say is that I'll be there for her should she need me, just still doesn't feel enough.


24 Sep 2013 - 12:49107526
I'm sorry to hear that - hope the prognosis isn't too bad, although going through treatment is an ordeal in itself. I know someone who is having chemo right now and it's pretty tough going for her. All you can do is support your friend as best you can, just like you said, but if it gets too much don't be afraid to contact Macmillan for advice.

I'm just posting in here because I've taken on far too many commitments right now and I'm really stressed X_X This is a two minute break from writing hours of lecture material that I'm delivering in Norway the day after Play Expo. Did I mention I've never lectured before? And that it's 20 hours worth of lectures? Wagh ;_;



Last edited by madmazda86 (24 Sep 2013 - 12:51)
24 Sep 2013 - 13:18107527
Quote Alynia:
I found out last night my best friend has Cancer... I'm still not entirely sure what to do or to say. All I can say is that I'll be there for her should she need me, just still doesn't feel enough.


Knowing that a good friend is there for you can count for a lot!

Medication, treatment, and therapy are important, but so is fighting and not giving up. And the support of friends and family make a difference

I hope your friend is able to fight it into remission.


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24 Sep 2013 - 18:43107537
Thanks guys

All I know for the moment is that it's Hodgkin's Lymphoma which isn't too bad due to how common it is an how high the success rate is as well.

She's going for a whole load of tests roughly about next week to see what stage it's at. She's a tough girl and she had said herself she isn't worried about it, which put me at ease a little bit. Thankfully I'm seeing her on Saturday and we're going to make a day of it in London!


20 Nov 2013 - 18:01109207
I feel really off. I've been starting work at 7:30 for over a month. This means getting up at 5:30. I thought I got into a routine. But the last couple of days I've been feeling a bit groggy and not sleeping well. Which is annoying as I came back after 3 days off...

I'm also a little upset and stressed about a couple of things. Feeling alone, lied to, generally hated, and useless.


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25 Nov 2013 - 14:00109290
Things are a mess at home. The messes aren't even mine to clean up but I'm finding myself in the middle of it trying to keep everybody afloat and others still demanding more from me. I'm pretty good at keeping up the appearance of being cheerful for the sake of others to help them, but I get the impression that because of this people think that I'm cheerful and happy all of the time.

The things that have happened have left me confused and frustrated because I can't do anything about them. I'm doing things to help and then those that I'm doing them for just undoes them as though I'd never tried in the first place. Like keeping things clean so we're not living in a shithole, a nice environment always helps. I come back to it and within a few hours things are messed up again.


25 Nov 2013 - 16:49109291
long ass rant here...

This moment in time, I have four cosplays are being made now, however, they won't arrive until January/mid January time which I don't mind, but I find that I've hit a brick wall and whacking my head against it now since I want to cosplay as Amber Bailey from Dead Rising 2, however I'm going to have to get it made from places such as CosplayHouse or CosplayFu as well as hitting my head as I have to wait until after Xmas to finish my Jason Voorhees cosplay off which is missing a stupid shirt which I could have gotten ages ago when I sold my iPhone 5 but they didn't have my size in as well as shelling out £450 for helmet, boots and gloves for my Gokai Red cosplay...things aren't looking well for finances...so much for saving for Newcastle Film & Comic Con and saving for spending money for Kitacon ¬__¬


03 Dec 2013 - 15:45109382
My current boyfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago and today he decided to see if he did the right thing and tried to kiss me. I in turn ran away because I just couldn't seeing how when I do home for christmas I'm going to see how things go between me and one of my close friends who I went out with in May for a couple of dates, and I didn't want to feel like I was a cheating b***h.
I wish that I could say that I never wanted to the this guy again but were on the same course and see each other everyday.

rant over


03 Dec 2013 - 17:42109383
I wish all the departments at work wouldn't leave every urgent thing till the absolute last minute, and then expect us to fix it, knowing we need to rely on other people who can't be contacted at short notice!

Quote gxgirl-93:
and today he decided to see if he did the right thing and tried to kiss me.


Wow. That's a really shitty thing to do to you. He shouldn't have put you in that position


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04 Dec 2013 - 18:54109397
So, not been on here for awhile. Catching up on people's vents;

Alynia: I'm really sorry to hear that! I hope you're doing alright and that it's not too stressful for you. Hope your friend is alright!

Namine: IDK if this a money issue or what, but I recommend http://www.ebay.co.uk/usr/cosplayfly2010

gxgirl-93: What a horrid thing for him to do! That's really out of order!


Annnnnnnd I really need to let out a load of crap so it's being dumped here. ANd this is gonna be a long rant cause I'm like bleh atm

Broke up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago (bit of back, he lives in the States and I would have been moving over there to live with him). He was showing controlling behaviour in the form of emotional manipulation (made me feel bad for being out with friends, going to conventions etc) and that he would make derogatory comments when I talked about something he deemed "small pointless talk" or had a different opinion than him. It had been something we've talked about and I had expressed how I felt and he was trying to sort it out.

It came to a head when we argued over something really stupid (it was about liking/disliking the number 11, I kid not). He went on at me for about 15 hours give or take and I decided I had enough of being called stupid, petty and other such things. So I ended it and felt guilty doing so cause I still had feelings and all that jazz. And actually he was really understanding and kinda expected it (I did kinda retreat away for several days to sort my head out so he knew it was gonna be one way or the other).

Then, a few days ago, he messages me and said the only reason he was being controlling was because I didn't give him enough of my time or made him feel important enough. And ended the whole thing with;



Every one of my friends had commented whilst I was with him that they don't see much of me, and when I went out I was glued to my phone AND remembering I would be giving up all my friends AND my family to live with him.

Sorry that's a lot to just bleh all in one place but yeah...

On a lighter note: I went at the wrong time to a job interview today. Went at 8am when it's 8pm. So it wasn't a wasted ticket, I went window shopping only to get knarked with the fact that NOTHING FITS PROPERLY. Like, what fits my waist is a couple of sizes too small for my hips. And I know it's that much because I wear a size 16 in m&s trousers but a size 12 in an A-line skirt from the same section.


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Ayacon Plans
04 Dec 2013 - 20:03109400
it's fine now, I'm gonna get it comissioned later on. I'm going to hopefully go to NFCC and WLFCC later on. Thanks for the link; will check it out btw ^^


05 Dec 2013 - 01:07109410
Quote NixieThePixie:
I went window shopping only to get knarked with the fact that NOTHING FITS PROPERLY. Like, what fits my waist is a couple of sizes too small for my hips. And I know it's that much because I wear a size 16 in m&s trousers but a size 12 in an A-line skirt from the same section.

I get this problem too, I brought a dress in my usual size last week and had to exchange it for 2 sizes bigger all because of my hips. I dont mind bigger dress sizes as long as they flatter my figure but it makes shopping more of a pain.

As for my rant, I have a new job. I love what I am doing and I am thankful for being part of such a lovely team but no matter how hard I try I always seem to remain the nervous type. Its been pointed out that I have alot of potential to do well in what I am doing but I am constantly held back because of my confidence. I try to give it my all everyday but still I keep getting this nagging feeling in my head that I am gonna screw up.

Im making steady progress with getting over my Social anxiety but I feel I could do more to speed up recovery, but I dont wanna trip over my own feet while doing it, especially considering its getting busy for Christmas.

On top of that, I have less than 3 weeks before my contract ends so I am praying to stay with them as I dont wanna deal with the Jobcentre again ><


18 Dec 2013 - 13:53109682
Everything is going wrong. Everything.

my fiancé's dad went cray-cray and started screaming at me and shoving me for no reason a few weeks back (really, no reason at all. He was harrassing Richard while he was trying to handle boiling water and decided to leave it if he was going to keep getting up in his face, so I offered to go and finish...I got something entirely different) He spends most of his time blanking me. But I'm definitely not going back any time soon.

There's a while load of trouble that went on with my brother and his girlfriend which I'm not going to go deep into with the detail because it's personal and messy and involves a five month old, but I'll just say that things were like a minefield.

My brother then went into hospital because he was so upset by it and he's a diabetic. He came out two days ago and is fine, but my grandmother went in the next morning but passed away last night. I went to see her but she wasn't aware of anything, had seizures often. While I'm glad I went and had the chance to say goodbye I can't get the image out of my head. I wanted to go back just to be with my dad for it, but at the same time I feared for seeing anything like that again. It's one thing seeing it in the media because you know it's just acted, but when it's somebody that you know, love and grew up with... It's just heartbreaking.

I'm glad she's in a better place now because she's been ill for such a long time. I just feel so sad and wonder when this line of bad luck is going to end. We haven't been able to do anything at all for christmas yet because of everything that I've listed above has been going on since November. People come to me ranting and getting so upset and angry about things I'd consider small and would trade to have those kinds of troubles. I don't get angry at them and listen and help, but they seem deaf to the fact that I'm hurting and need someone to listen to me too, rather than changing the subject to something which doesnt...even really matter.



Last edited by Angel Tear (18 Dec 2013 - 13:54)
19 Dec 2013 - 22:32109726
Quote Aerblade:
As for my rant, I have a new job. I love what I am doing and I am thankful for being part of such a lovely team but no matter how hard I try I always seem to remain the nervous type. Its been pointed out that I have alot of potential to do well in what I am doing but I am constantly held back because of my confidence. I try to give it my all everyday but still I keep getting this nagging feeling in my head that I am gonna screw up.


ALL OF THIS!

I've realised over the past few weeks how much of a panicky wreck I am over my work, any time the slightest little thing goes wrong, as well as worrying constantly what colleagues and new friends think of me. Also, I'm in a fixed-term contract too, which ends in July, and I really have no idea if there's a chance of being kept on or not. I really hope so because I do love my job.


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27 Dec 2013 - 00:28109845
I only have 4 more working hours before my contract ends. It is uncertain at this time whether ill be staying on or not.

I should at least be happy that I have survived 2 and a half months of retail during Christmas >< Been a while since I have been this down from work! Even with the confidence troubles.



Last edited by Psychoelle (27 Dec 2013 - 00:29)
30 Dec 2013 - 17:15109917
This: http://leagueofextraordinarycosplayers.com/2013/12/30/loec-convention-awards-2013-results/

Who the hell voted for this?! There is so much BS here it's unblieveable. AL BEST CREW?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!! AL BEST EVENING ENTERTAINMENT?! NO ******** WAY! Also did you see who won Best Guest? Gimmie a break...

This thing was either fixed or exploited way beyond broken.


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30 Dec 2013 - 17:31109918
Quote Ice-climber:
This: http://leagueofextraordinarycosplayers.com/2013/12/30/loec-convention-awards-2013-results/

Who the hell voted for this?! There is so much BS here it's unblieveable. AL BEST CREW?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!! AL BEST EVENING ENTERTAINMENT?! NO ******** WAY! Also did you see who won Best Guest? Gimmie a break...

This thing was either fixed or exploited way beyond broken.


It's not even worth getting mad over, I literally keeled over laughing at a lot of the results. Let's just call this an early April Fools for now XD


30 Dec 2013 - 17:39109919
The worst thing is it gives some people (I don't need to mention who) tiny bits of legitimacy they don't deserve. There is so much crap here it's off the scale.


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