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14 Jun 2011 - 19:0359905
LuluRose, I can't begin to tell you how much I adore your writing style.

My response? Copypasta Pez/Lulurose/ice climber.



And now to talk about something that wasn't covered very much, in my opinion anyway.

Ice breaking. There are other ways and lets face it, meeting people through free hugs signs will give you a friendship shallower than my carecup for my ex girlfriend's angst.

When I was dressed like Hei (good God I'm starting to sound like a grandad cus I've said this so many times) A lot of girls would come up to me to ask me for a hug. In dem days a hug cost yer the huggers consent and you appreciatted it more cus yer asked fer'it. Then we'd take t'bus home and walk up t'cobbles past t'coal mine and go t'pub fer a pint'o tetlehs.

The latter of that half of text may or may not be true.

Cosplaying at the expo gives you a chance to act like your character (within reason, don't go slashing people up, Kenpachi, Ladd Russo). This should be able, if marginally, to allow you to pluck up the courage and say hello to someone.

Oh my f***ing God did he just say "say hello"!? Like normal people!? Hold on to your jhorbloks folks, there's more!

Strike up a conversation. Be nice. I mean, is it that hard?

Hello
Hi
I'm Jae
Hi, I'm _____ have we met?
We have now. Your cosplay, can you tell me the name?
I'm _____ from ________
It's really good, I like it. Would you recommended the series?


Are you still alive? Have I twisted your brains out of space-time?

There is no need to shout, or attract attention to yourself unless you are really good at doing what your character does, or really good at doing something your character might be seen doing.

Maybe it's easier for me because I'm a very outgoing person, and I only have to drop my username on mcm forums to get recognised, but I wasn't always like this. A hell of a lot of people know me now, nice people. I didn't meet them through making a show of myself, I met them by trying my best at being a cosplayer and a nice expo/con-goer.

Maybe Ice Climber was a bit harsh on requesting the banhammer down on the free hugs sign. But I'd have to agree, and include any form of sign that the character wouldn't normally hold up. I'd even lay on the banhammer for excessive noise, is it really necessary to shout and draw attention to yourself? Your cosplay isn't getting you attention, it's either not that great or the character isn't popular. Deal with it.

I would also have to agree what Pez wrote on force-huggers. I like hugs, I give awesome hugs. But I hate violation of my personal space. Happened at Kitacon, someone thought it be funny to glomp me as I was wearing my carbon greed outfit. See pictures of me with the lines/circles missing? Thank that ***** of ****.

Lulurose, if that happens again is there any way management will allow me to take them outside and smack the stupid out of their face?




And you know what makes me really rage about those free hug signs? The ones that get flipped round to say "Not you".... Makes me want to see if I can make my middle knuckle connect with their spine, from the front. Why say free hugs and then deny people selectively!? You made your choice! Hug EVERYONE.

Probably should do that as a punishment. Anyone caught with a free hug sign must hug EVERYONE at the event. No exceptions.


14 Jun 2011 - 19:1059907
Quote pltshp:
...These experiences are putting me off Expo quite a bit :x


Oh don't let it put you off, generally free huggers aren't too bad, but remember, you don't have to hug them, just avoid them.

Apart from hugging smelly free huggers and one girl throwing a strop when I politely declined, the rest were alright.

You'll be having too much fun to care about free huggers and soon forget any bad experience that you may get. But Expo is different for everyone. Just don't think about it too much.


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14 Jun 2011 - 19:3359917
JaeXD: Whenever I see a thread with your name on it I always look forward to reading what you've written. The feelings mutual, your posts are blunt, to the point and very humerous!

Mame: Lucky you! you seem to have better luck than me. I suppose because there are so many attendees at expo's then OBVIOUSLY not everyone will have a negative experience and even then, each persons experience is different.

I just hate it when people are of the opinion that:

"I never had any bad things happen, therefore bad things can't possibly happen!"


14 Jun 2011 - 19:5159927
Quote Lulu Rose:
I know Nixie is cool (admittedly I only briefly spoke to you bringing you guys water in the kitacon masquerade que because it was stupid hot...we had no straws, I WILL FIX IT!)


STRAWS ARE NEEDED FOR COSPLAYS WITH A LOT OF SNAZAROO!! Twas a lesson learnt lol.

But yous was a life saver.


And I second that (I'm cool) people here with negative comments are actually pretty damn nice people. They've just had bad experiences with Free Huggers. I've not. I believe that it's the minority of huggers making it awful for everyone. That, or because I'm likly to go "YES YOU CAAAN!" if someone asks me for a hug I've never had a bad experience lol.

Quote Blue_Clover:
I don't really mind getting free hugs as long as my cosplay isn't fragile, but I remember getting my face licked by some random person at expo once... *shivers*

O____________________________o There are no words to describe how much that disturbs me...

Quote JaeXD:
Strike up a conversation. Be nice. I mean, is it that hard?

Hello
Hi
I'm Jae
Hi, I'm _____ have we met?
We have now. Your cosplay, can you tell me the name?
I'm _____ from ________
It's really good, I like it. Would you recommended the series?


And for me, yes. I never learnt HOW to greet someone properly in real life, cause I never met anyone new. And my mum never let me go to any club sorta activities, and I wasn't in school a lot, and when I was I was generally bullied. Then my meagre self-confidence was shatter by "friends". As a result, actually saying "hi" to someone is really scary for me. A hug (for me mind) shows that there is no harm coming your way, and it's not really a relationship that you have to maintain. So I don't mind my superficial "friendships" not even that really tbh.

For me to talk to someone, it would have to be the way that you put it Jae. You saying hi first. I would only talk to someone if I wanted their photo, or to compliment their cosplay.

Or if I was with my very close friends. My confidence grows if I'm around one of my friends, and I don't feel so utterly terrified of meeting someone.

Really, I should get self-confidence classes.

Quote JaeXD:

And you know what makes me really rage about those free hug signs? The ones that get flipped round to say "Not you".... Makes me want to see if I can make my middle knuckle connect with their spine, from the front. Why say free hugs and then deny people selectively!? You made your choice! Hug EVERYONE.


The only negative time I've had with a free hugger is with one of those signs. I asked why, and she said "Cause I don't like you". It really hurt, even though I didn't know them.

Which is also why I don't like talking to people, cause they say nasty things.


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Ayacon Plans
14 Jun 2011 - 23:4959964
The previous expo I went to somebody came up behind and just lifted me up in the air, which was terrifying!! Once I realised who it was I wasn't that bothered, cause although I didn't know him personally we'd been bumping into each other all day. After he both apologised and thanked me, but I think he knew that I'd get it, it was a character thing and done for some photos.

What I didn't like was how after that loads of people thought it must be ok to dive bomb me, hug me, pick me up etc etc.

Nobody here had any signs, but these were the exact type of people who would cause all these negative experiences.


15 Jun 2011 - 09:5359995
Quote NixieThePixie:

Quote JaeXD:
Strike up a conversation. Be nice. I mean, is it that hard?

Hello
Hi
I'm Jae
Hi, I'm _____ have we met?
We have now. Your cosplay, can you tell me the name?
I'm _____ from ________
It's really good, I like it. Would you recommended the series?


And for me, yes. I never learnt HOW to greet someone properly in real life, cause I never met anyone new. And my mum never let me go to any club sorta activities, and I wasn't in school a lot, and when I was I was generally bullied. Then my meagre self-confidence was shatter by "friends". As a result, actually saying "hi" to someone is really scary for me. A hug (for me mind) shows that there is no harm coming your way, and it's not really a relationship that you have to maintain. So I don't mind my superficial "friendships" not even that really tbh.

For me to talk to someone, it would have to be the way that you put it Jae. You saying hi first. I would only talk to someone if I wanted their photo, or to compliment their cosplay.

Or if I was with my very close friends. My confidence grows if I'm around one of my friends, and I don't feel so utterly terrified of meeting someone.

Really, I should get self-confidence classes.


It's difficult for me to put a point across if I don't make it black and white, and I do understand there are grey areas.

I tend to go at things with everything I have, this can be seen in almost everything I do. I just don't know any other way.

However, it has helped to bring people out of their shells.

Nixie, when I see you I'll say hi and strike up a conversation. We have a reason now. And then you can point out any cosplayer you like and we'll go over and have a conversation with them. It sounds scary, doesn't it? Also a little exciting, and that's what I like to capture. Or you can watch me do it. Either way you can experience it, that's if you want to. Or we could just go for coffee.

I don't want to bend anyone to my whim, just show them what I mean and let them decide for themselves.



Last edited by JaeXD (15 Jun 2011 - 09:55)
15 Jun 2011 - 11:3060006
To be honest, 9 times out of 10, I don't mind free huggers. They're generally people who are trying to have fun while they are at expo. But I don't like the aggressive ones who force it on you and demand affection. They're just weird :/


15 Jun 2011 - 11:3260007
When I saw them at my first Expo in...2007 I think it was, I thought it was great! No one threw themselves at anyone from what I could see even though quite a few people were wearing them. Then a year later I was with a big group of friends and as we walked into the Expo hall a group of 4 people waiting at the entrance practically forced all of us into hugging them. This was after I said I'd rather not, too
-___-

But this past May a friend of mine was carrying one (it was slightly more creative then just "free hugs" but still) and she said she got to talking with a bunch of nice people. That changed my mind about the signs, so I would be sad to see them banned. I still won't carry one around...but as long as, like everyone's said, as long as they're polite and such about it, I have no problem with the signs.


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15 Jun 2011 - 15:1860043
Wow I must of been really lucky the way it sounds, I've never had any trouble with free huggers though maybe that's because I mormally say okay. Though not to the free yaoi/yuri signs they are kind of creepy. If I've ever wanted to hug someone I've always asked and all the people I've encountered have asked me. Manners and respect make the world go round :>


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15 Jun 2011 - 21:4060096
I can't believe people have signs for more extreme things yaoi/yuri/buttsex and so on) Oo I'm clearly still a bit of an expo virgin, since I've not seen this for the most part...
I'm just kind of on-edge for October now, incase people try to hug me and happen to be the 10-or-so% of free-huggers that do all these bad things mentioned here.

Like Nixie, I really lack in self-esteem; I've taken classes for about 2 years with little-to-no effect, but I do prefer a *GENTLE* hug to saying "Hi" to someone. I mean, sure, if someone says 'Hi' to me first, I'll say so back, but I don't tend to converse any further unless I know the person. So, yeah.. Being 'given' (take that how you will, forced or if you actually want them) free hugs seem more daunting than they probably are.

But, like I mentioned earlier I had a sign on the Sunday of last October expo, but didn't like the fact it wasn't really in character, and was a pain to carry as well as a prop. I got a couple of hugs, but I did get a breif visual warning beforehand, except when I was essentially glomped from behind at one point.


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16 Jun 2011 - 17:0260179
I think people who wear those signs aren't sad, they're people who say "I'm confident, I'm not afraid to make friends, and I'm getting in the spirit of the event."

And some people do go on like hugging quests and the like at these events, there's nothing wrong with it. Just means you're happy to get involved.

The only time I kinda think it's a little weird is when you get these people who just stand in the same corner all day looking miserable wearing a "Free hugs!" sign. Like anybody is gonna hug you if you look like a mopey git!


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16 Jun 2011 - 17:1660181
Quote Han Hyuga:
I think people who wear those signs aren't sad, they're people who say "I'm confident, I'm not afraid to make friends, and I'm getting in the spirit of the event."

And some people do go on like hugging quests and the like at these events, there's nothing wrong with it. Just means you're happy to get involved.

The only time I kinda think it's a little weird is when you get these people who just stand in the same corner all day looking miserable wearing a "Free hugs!" sign. Like anybody is gonna hug you if you look like a mopey git!


100% agree with you x


16 Jun 2011 - 17:3760185
Quote JaeXD:
Nixie, when I see you I'll say hi and strike up a conversation. We have a reason now. And then you can point out any cosplayer you like and we'll go over and have a conversation with them. It sounds scary, doesn't it?

Sounds utterly terrifying lol.

Quote JaeXD:
Also a little exciting, and that's what I like to capture. Or you can watch me do it. Either way you can experience it, that's if you want to. Or we could just go for coffee

It's okay, you don't need to. I'll be with a close friend at Ayacon, and she very social and thus I meet people through her ^__^

Quote cranberrychocolatesundae:

Like Nixie, I really lack in self-esteem; I've taken classes for about 2 years with little-to-no effect, but I do prefer a *GENTLE* hug to saying "Hi" to someone. I mean, sure, if someone says 'Hi' to me first, I'll say so back, but I don't tend to converse any further unless I know the person. So, yeah.. Being 'given' (take that how you will, forced or if you actually want them) free hugs seem more daunting than they probably are.


lets join up lol. We'll make our own self help classes ;p


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Ayacon Plans
16 Jun 2011 - 19:3760211
Quote Han Hyuga:
I think people who wear those signs aren't sad, they're people who say "I'm confident, I'm not afraid to make friends, and I'm getting in the spirit of the event."


I disagree. Confident and wanting to make friends means you should be able to go up to someone, strike up a conversation and THEN ask them for a hug.


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CosplayIsland Staff Member


16 Jun 2011 - 19:4660214
Quote sjbonnar:
Quote Han Hyuga:
I think people who wear those signs aren't sad, they're people who say "I'm confident, I'm not afraid to make friends, and I'm getting in the spirit of the event."


I disagree. Confident and wanting to make friends means you should be able to go up to someone, strike up a conversation and THEN ask them for a hug.


I second that.


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Mess with me, your life is as good as gone
16 Jun 2011 - 20:1760220
^ very true ^

But sometimes people without signs you gotta watch out for too.
Once May 10 I beleieve it was at expo me, my best friend (Phee) and my ex were waiting outside the excel centre on the friday. I saw someone belt over at really fast speed

From a distance I thought it was someone we knew but as he approach it was a complete stranger. He just aimed for my best friend (dressed in nel's rags from bleach) and basically slammed into her given her a hug. And then he just wandered off murmuring "I love nel"

No hello. No introduction. No sign! Phee got a little bit shaken. She was like wth..

I don't mind people hugging me if they've spoken to me first. Like if they say "I love that character" or "I love your outfit!" etc and they want a hug coz of that. I don't mind coz I do that too. But it's all about reading body language as well as what the person says.

I know quite a few of my friends tend to see a free hugger and just go "hugs are always free." xD


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Last edited by BabemRoze (16 Jun 2011 - 20:17)
16 Jun 2011 - 20:2660223
^ I agree with this
Sometimes its the ones without the signs you have to watch out for

I think it was a year ago at May expo , I was standing waiting for a friends just outside the main entrance and I was approached by a group of 3 guys, the smallest (He must have been like 11...) asked for a hug.
I don't really like hugging random people, but I thought what the hell.

And then he groped me!
The little shit!
>>

I shoved him and walked away, in complete "wtf just happened mode"

But yea...creeps ahoy everywhere


16 Jun 2011 - 20:3460225
Quote eternal_aranel:
^ I agree with this
Sometimes its the ones without the signs you have to watch out for

I think it was a year ago at May expo , I was standing waiting for a friends just outside the main entrance and I was approached by a group of 3 guys, the smallest (He must have been like 11...) asked for a hug.
I don't really like hugging random people, but I thought what the hell.

And then he groped me!
The little shit!
>>

I shoved him and walked away, in complete "wtf just happened mode"

But yea...creeps ahoy everywhere





No but seriously, kid or not he shoulda gotten the backhand!


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CosplayIsland Staff Member


16 Jun 2011 - 20:3760227
Quote sjbonnar:



No but seriously, kid or not he shoulda gotten the backhand!


Yeea I know. I think I was in shock Oo

Also that is strangely hypnotic XD


16 Jun 2011 - 20:4160230
LMAO Sorry, shouldn't have unleashed the creeps on you


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CosplayIsland Staff Member


16 Jun 2011 - 22:2260257
Quote JakeX:
Quote sjbonnar:
Quote Han Hyuga:
I think people who wear those signs aren't sad, they're people who say "I'm confident, I'm not afraid to make friends, and I'm getting in the spirit of the event."


I disagree. Confident and wanting to make friends means you should be able to go up to someone, strike up a conversation and THEN ask them for a hug.


I second that.
Well, I suppose (like anything) it depends. Personally, I can just go up to someone and start talking to them, I've never actually used a sign as such, but I have considered it... Matter of fact I often mean to bring one but forget!

I think the other thing to remember is that you can't say "You don't have ANY confidence if you wear a sign." Because someone with no confidence would probably be too scared to... That or they'd be too scared to turn up... Or get out of the house. Ok, now I'm exaggerating.

I think I get what you're saying though, and I guess you are right in the respect of it's an invitation for other people to talk to you, but that doesn't necessarily mean you have the courage to go talk to other people yourself. To be fair I didn't really think of that until you pointed it out. But even then it still takes a little bit of courage to give everyone that sign that says "You can come up to me and talk to me."

Just my opinion though.


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17 Jun 2011 - 08:1960282
Quote NixieThePixie:
Quote JaeXD:
Nixie, when I see you I'll say hi and strike up a conversation. We have a reason now. And then you can point out any cosplayer you like and we'll go over and have a conversation with them. It sounds scary, doesn't it?

Sounds utterly terrifying lol.

Quote JaeXD:
Also a little exciting, and that's what I like to capture. Or you can watch me do it. Either way you can experience it, that's if you want to. Or we could just go for coffee

It's okay, you don't need to. I'll be with a close friend at Ayacon, and she very social and thus I meet people through her ^__^


No probs, the offer's always there for a coffee.

Coffee is awesome and brings people together better than free hugs.
And if you don't like coffee, then;
[generic hot beverage] brings people together better than free hugs.

Quote JakeX:
Quote sjbonnar:
Quote Han Hyuga:
I think people who wear those signs aren't sad, they're people who say "I'm confident, I'm not afraid to make friends, and I'm getting in the spirit of the event."


I disagree. Confident and wanting to make friends means you should be able to go up to someone, strike up a conversation and THEN ask them for a hug.


I second that.


I third that.


17 Jun 2011 - 09:1260290
Quote Han Hyuga:
Quote JakeX:
Quote sjbonnar:
Quote Han Hyuga:
I think people who wear those signs aren't sad, they're people who say "I'm confident, I'm not afraid to make friends, and I'm getting in the spirit of the event."


I disagree. Confident and wanting to make friends means you should be able to go up to someone, strike up a conversation and THEN ask them for a hug.


I second that.
Well, I suppose (like anything) it depends. Personally, I can just go up to someone and start talking to them, I've never actually used a sign as such, but I have considered it... Matter of fact I often mean to bring one but forget!

I think the other thing to remember is that you can't say "You don't have ANY confidence if you wear a sign." Because someone with no confidence would probably be too scared to... That or they'd be too scared to turn up... Or get out of the house. Ok, now I'm exaggerating.

I think I get what you're saying though, and I guess you are right in the respect of it's an invitation for other people to talk to you, but that doesn't necessarily mean you have the courage to go talk to other people yourself. To be fair I didn't really think of that until you pointed it out. But even then it still takes a little bit of courage to give everyone that sign that says "You can come up to me and talk to me."

Just my opinion though.


If you have NO confidence, then you're not likely to be cosplaying at all as it automatically puts you in a position where you're wearing "odd" clothing and walking around dressed as a character.

I'd never say those with signs have no confidence, quite often I think they just do it for attention.

I for one am sick of people walking around with bits of plain cardboard (or worse, paper) with poorly scrawled "FREE HUGZ" on it in black marker (or worse, biro).


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CosplayIsland Staff Member


17 Jun 2011 - 19:2060444
I think it depends on the person really, when it comes to someone with free hugs signs. I think, with some people, it gives them confidence.

Also, when I see someone with a free hug sign, I feel more confident to walk up to them. Cause they're... asking for it?

I dunno... I talk utter rubbish sometimes lol

Quote JaeXD:

No probs, the offer's always there for a coffee.

Coffee is awesome and brings people together better than free hugs.
And if you don't like coffee, then;
[generic hot beverage] brings people together better than free hugs.

I concur, as conversation usually occurs in those situations, whereas not in hugging. Unless it's a BB cosplayer you've hugged, which then results in the conversation of jam.


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Ayacon Plans
17 Jun 2011 - 21:3660454
Quote sjbonnar:
Quote Han Hyuga:
Quote JakeX:
Quote sjbonnar:
Quote Han Hyuga:
I think people who wear those signs aren't sad, they're people who say "I'm confident, I'm not afraid to make friends, and I'm getting in the spirit of the event."


I disagree. Confident and wanting to make friends means you should be able to go up to someone, strike up a conversation and THEN ask them for a hug.


I second that.
Well, I suppose (like anything) it depends. Personally, I can just go up to someone and start talking to them, I've never actually used a sign as such, but I have considered it... Matter of fact I often mean to bring one but forget!

I think the other thing to remember is that you can't say "You don't have ANY confidence if you wear a sign." Because someone with no confidence would probably be too scared to... That or they'd be too scared to turn up... Or get out of the house. Ok, now I'm exaggerating.

I think I get what you're saying though, and I guess you are right in the respect of it's an invitation for other people to talk to you, but that doesn't necessarily mean you have the courage to go talk to other people yourself. To be fair I didn't really think of that until you pointed it out. But even then it still takes a little bit of courage to give everyone that sign that says "You can come up to me and talk to me."

Just my opinion though.


If you have NO confidence, then you're not likely to be cosplaying at all as it automatically puts you in a position where you're wearing "odd" clothing and walking around dressed as a character.

I'd never say those with signs have no confidence, quite often I think they just do it for attention.

I for one am sick of people walking around with bits of plain cardboard (or worse, paper) with poorly scrawled "FREE HUGZ" on it in black marker (or worse, biro).
Yeah, of course. But then you can just get silly and say if you have absolutely no confidence you'd sit in one room with no windows, never have any contact with another human being and you'd order food to get dilivered which would be given to you through a convenient hatch.

And of course, it can go the other way, I mean you are probably bound to get a few people at cons who get dragged along by their friends when maybe cosplay isn't a thing they'd normally do.

I suppose you can't really generalise anything, I mean yeah some people are gonna do it for attention, but then you can say the same thing about certain characters as well. Like I imagine some people cosplay as characters for the "OMG He/she's so cute/hot!" reaction.

And so it's not necessarily the fact that people wear these signs that annoys you, it's the fact that the signs are so badly done? Seriously, even if that really did annoy you to a big extent, it's your right. XD

But seriously, now that you mention it, I too still am a little selective. I probably would be more likely to hug someone (slightly attractive) with a sign that looks like at least a little effort went into it.


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