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21 May 2011 - 14:2657175
Harsh comments
Quite a lot of us have probably been there. We've finished something and we go to show the nearest person your successes and they turn out to be less than impressed. Or perhaps someone has made a comment while making something?

This is a thread where you can share any comments which you think might have been harsh, be it at a con or at home.

I thought I was a bit lucky with my parents in supporting me with my cosplay, but this morning my Serah (FF13) costume arrived for Distant Worlds in November since I'd be cutting it fine with everything going on over the summer.
Anyway, I tried it on and went to show my brother since he's also played the game. However my mum then comes in from the hairdressers and says 'oh my god' before walking off. I later then go into the same room as her to get something for my brother only for her to repeat the same phrase 'Oh my god' again. I'd felt great about it before she went and made the comment. So I wonder if it's so bad, should I even bother wearing it for the event which I'd looked forward to doing? However whenever I go to events I always get positive feedback, whether I make the costumes myself or if I'm pressed for time, buy my own.

So, anyone else have experiences to share? Or even how you managed to respond in situations like these?


21 May 2011 - 14:3157178
My mom says things like that only too often! Not only to my cosplays, but also my lolita clothing. Don't let her comments dishearten you about wearing it, especially if you're looking forward to it and if you enjoy wearing it!
People make comments like that because they don't understand what it is you're doing. If your mom and brother were cosplayers, laugh at that image, they would probably praise you for it! But as they're not, they just don't get it.
As for managing with it, there's not all that much you can do but shrug it off and ignore it, I'm afraid.



Last edited by Illulyn (21 May 2011 - 15:10)
21 May 2011 - 15:0157186
for me it's over the internet
since i like JaeJoong's style
people have been writing things like
"haha she thinks she's JaeJoong, looks nothing like him"
i guess they don't understand cosplay if they're writing such things jumping to conclusions.

so far non harsh comments in person.
But if there was i would go CRAZY haha


21 May 2011 - 15:1157187
People are usually wusses and hide behind the internet, in person they probably wouldn't say a thing.

I tend to ignore my mum when it comes to her commenting. I'll usually just say something like 'I think its awesome' then skip off merrily and carry on with what I was doing. Nothing says f*ck you like failing to react to the way they want you to. At the end of the day, I hardly live here anymore, and if she expects to see more of me she can lay off on the comments of my interests. Which may seem a bit tough, but I don't really want to be in a place where I'm going to get stick for things that make me happy.


21 May 2011 - 15:2357189
Is the costume a little bit skanky? If so, it could be more a "You're not going out like THAT!" parental reaction than anything else.

I'm planning on not showing my parents the (very few) skanky costumes I'm going to be doing, because I know (despite being 22) they would not react particularly positively towards them as no matter how old I get, I'll always be about 12 in their heads.

They're generally mystefied when I'm covering myself in fake blood, but attept to be supportive. They really like stuff like my Disney costumes though, so often it's not that what you're doing is awful, it's just that it doesn't fit in with their view of you as "Their little girl".

However, if you're looking forward to it and want to wear the costume, do it anyway. No doubt when you're in the context of the con, your friends and fellow fans of the game will love it anyway. As long as you're having fun, who cares.

Tbh, the harshest comments I get aren't when I'm in cosplay, it's usually from stupid Neds who don't appriciate the way I dress, which fluctuates between 14-year-old boy if I can't be bothered and 1950's housewife (when I can); usually settling somewhere in the 70's/80's mix-and-match clashy patterns category. Tbh, it doesn't actually bother me coming from 12-year-olds in ratty trackies who can't figure out themselves when Halloween is. Pa-the-tic.

More often than not I'll end up being followed around shops by teenaged girls who can't seem to decide if I'm a boy or a girl (and have a tendancy to be very bad at hiding their conversation about it). Sometimes this is just plain curiousity, sometimes (and most confusingly) it's apparently with a view towards it being OK to fancy me or not... Whuh?! Come on guys, seriously?!

Also, get called a lesbian a lot becuase I have short hair and dress guy-ish. This would be fine if I actually was, heck, I would be proud of that fact. Half the time it's just quite funny (when a drunk Ned is asking if you're a 'bean' and telling you that, while she's not, she's cool with 'beans' in general and you being one), sometimes it's a bit annoying though.

Edit: Actually, I do remember some cosplay related ones now... One was my Peter Pan costume, from Des: "Aren't you going to bind then?" Thanks a lot. Fyi, I am binding, my chest won't go any flatter than that. But it didn't bother me too much in the end, because it's OK to beat up Des.

The other one is that I got called fat in my Witch costume, but at the time, I was a bit overweight for me and I should probably have been wearing magic pants considering it was a lycra bodysuit. But, again, why should I care, if I'm happy prancing about in it, why should anyone else care? Also, Des kept poking me in the stomach and muffin tops... seriously I'll get that boy later. *shakes fist* ;P



Last edited by Pudding (21 May 2011 - 15:33)
21 May 2011 - 16:0557196
I have to say I've been pretty lucky with my cosplays thus far, I can't remember any harsh comments off the top of my head =/ Only the generic "is it halloween?" when cosplaying to and from cons from radomers on the street, but that has come to be the norm...however I have also had positive reactions from people just passing by me!

My parents are also surprisingly surportive of my hobbey. When I decided to cosplay Yoko (Gurren Lagann) the best I got out of them was "Make sure you take a jacket for when your not posing else you'll get cold" XD and that is the most revealing costume I have done.

I think when people do make negative comments it is down to them just not understanding cosplay or the time and effort that goes into it. If your happy with the way you look in your costume then that's all that matters Don't let peoples comments put you down because for every bad comment theres alot more people waiting to compliment your hard work!!


21 May 2011 - 16:3357198
Quote Pudding:
Is the costume a little bit skanky? If so, it could be more a "You're not going out like THAT!" parental reaction than anything else.

Wouldn't have been my choice of words, but yeah, Serah's skirt is a bit short, maybe she was just a bit taken aback by that. It's a parental sort of thing to do.


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21 May 2011 - 17:3657202
no the skirt is fine. I wouldnt call her attire 'skanky' either, or I just wouldnt wear it. I usually take precautions with any costumes with skirts by wearing shorts anyway. She seems to have been in a weird mood all day anyway and my brother quite liked the costume.


21 May 2011 - 17:3957204
My mother says the same, "OH DEAR" and looks away as if to say "that looks awful" but mothers are our harshest critic and if she says something like that I ask her WHY she doesn't like it and she'll tell me. So I take it as a positive thing rather than OMG *cries and rips costume up* she can really help me with colours what go best and what look horrible together. what doesn't flatter my image, whether wigs look okay on me or look like shit. My mother used to think what i did was just silly, a 16 year old dressing up and prancing around. Now I'm nearly 19 I think she's starting to see the technical side to cosplay. She understands that I want my costumes to look as close to the characters as possible and that I don't JUST wanna pose infront of the camera but BECOME the character. I used to get harsh comments from her all the time but the fact I'd completely ignore them made her realise that THIS is what I want to do and then eventually she accepted it. Funnily enough my stepdad has always been supportive and has helped my financially getting materials.

in terms of other users on the internet I haven't had a great deal. Only the shit I have got, I ignore - I'm too confident and proud with what I do I, to put it simply, couldn't give a fuck what people think. A few of my friends have stopped talking to me because I cosplay and so? what, people who dump you JUST for having a harmless hobby are not worth keeping! Other friends used to take the piss, i remember getting a comment from my friend catherine "do you like dressing up as lara croft, rachel?" and then another pic of me covered in fake blood "you have ketchup on you" yeah she isn't being directly offensive but there is that little bit of.... Bitchyness is the word that comes to mind. Now i've carried on and not taken a blind bit of notice what she thinks - now SHE wants to cosplay! (elizabeth swann from PotC) xD

But yeah most people make shitty comments because they're purely jealous. and I think Mums just don't want to see you embaress yourself I guess.


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21 May 2011 - 17:5557205
Sorry, I guessed that since it was from FF, generally speaking the female characters come in one of 3 categories: super-cutesy-fluffy-princess-angel-kiddy, whoah-massive-fantasy-costume-of-doom-and-belts or skank-a-liscious. lol.



Last edited by Pudding (21 May 2011 - 17:55)
21 May 2011 - 18:0057206
I crossplay alot and when the cotton on your a guy I get the mocking "Your a braaaaaaaaave man" comment alot XD


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21 May 2011 - 21:0157228
Quote Pudding:
Sorry, I guessed that since it was from FF, generally speaking the female characters come in one of 3 categories: super-cutesy-fluffy-princess-angel-kiddy, whoah-massive-fantasy-costume-of-doom-and-belts or skank-a-liscious. lol.


lol Skank-a-liscious.

I'm in two minds about my mum. She can be supportive, but not at the same time. I don't think she really wants me to cosplay more complex characters which needs me to sew, she'd rather me just do the simple buying it version. She paid for me pretty much to go to Kitacon and was supportive about that (though I am and always was going to be paying her back), but when I said I was going to Ayacon, she was furious as she thought Kita would be my final convention period. She keeps trying to get me not to go as well.

She's not happy about me sewing, but hides it under "oh, that will be too compicated so you shouldn't bother" but if I implicated that she's not been too supportive/confident in my skills then she's furious with me. She got furious when I told someone that mum was supportive whilst I was making my Cloudette and Cosmos dresses, saying she was, when she said to me that I should stop bothering with these characters or just buy it.

And it doesn't help everything always ends up as an argument between us.

Dad just stays quiet. He tries to be supportive, but he's a very analytical man and likes maths and such, so doesn't really understand it much. He doesn't get that kind of creativity (he understands art, but not "dressing up" ) but then he's not actually seen any of my cosplays. He was in two minds about my sister doing photography, until he saw her photos!

My step-mum is the most actively supportive. She's very much "tell me if you need fabrics!" cause she can usually find them at carboots. She's not seen any costumes either, but she understands that that is what I want to do.

Most supportive EVER is my granny (mum's side). She tells everyone who listens about it, saying how good I am, which cheers me up.



Harsh comments. I've not heard anyone but I'm willing to bet someone has said something nasty about my cosplays about me.

Harsh comments outside cosplay: My dad. He use to go on and on about me being fat. Even though it was a couple of years ago, it still hurts to remember dad saying about my skiing accident that I "didn't strain a muscle cause [I] don't have any; it's just fat" Harshest comment ever made to me. Period.


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Last edited by NixieThePixie (21 May 2011 - 21:06)
21 May 2011 - 21:0857230
my step mum left this comment on a photo of my new cosplay (Flandre Scarlet)which I posted on Facebook
"ha ha ha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahah
you look like an old milk maid!!!"

=.= ...thanks..


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21 May 2011 - 22:2957240
My mum isn't supportive of ANYTHING I do. She doesn't like me watching anime, playing video games, cosplaying, even baking or cooking much (which is really the most shameful because I really want to be a chef =( ) She's never said anything harsh about me cosplaying, and sometimes she'll buy the things (my Yui cosplay she bought everything and my Kannagi wig she bought) but if I show her she'll make a "mm" and talk about something. Her harsh comments sadly come through with my cooking and more specifically, my baking and making desserts, whenever I make a dessert or a cake, she'll either butt in claiming I'm doing it wrong or eat it and NEVER have one good word to say about it, which is quite mean as she went to catering college and was a chef for a short period of time so you'd think she'd pass on her skills....
I tend to ignore my mums comments these days though, on all my hobbies by watching anime regardless if she's about, play video games and cosplay =3 however baking is more difficult I bake at other peoples houses so I can't tell her or she'd be angry for no reason, but she also thinks I don't cook anything so I can't win *saddness*

My dad is mixed. He likes video games, and he won't say bad things about anime to me, but I don't think he cares much for cosplaying, he told me about some cosplayers in Norwich once but didn't say anything bad which is nice =)


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22 May 2011 - 07:5657253
I seem to be rather lucky since both my parents support me in cosplay D: I guess it's because they used to do amateur dramatics when they were young and my mum did ballet, so my nan would make a lot of costumes for my mum to wear. When I first said I was going to start cosplaying my dad bought me my first costume off Ebay and then when I started getting into the actual making, my mum and nan helped me out loads especially when it came to using the sewing machine and working out patterns They're always curious to see what I do next (my mum was pretty much speechless when she saw my finished Stiltzkin (said in the most non-boasting way possible)) but I guess when they do nag it's that I don't spend too much money T___T

My brother is ok with it and supports me but doesn't want anything to do with it. He usually comments on my photos of progress with things like "so how's that degree coming then" it's a joke but it still irks me off since he's insinuating that I can't balance a degree with cosplaying ¬___¬


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22 May 2011 - 09:0457258
Ive had too many harsh comments, some from so called "friends" backstabbing and saying nasty stuff, my photo has appeared on a forum alongside the words "this is why we cant have nice things" when i cosplay Miku it was when vocaloid wasnt really known and i got the comment "urgh its leek girl! ewwww!" from a gang of girls. and i cant even be bothered to count how many times ive gotten "your too fat to cosplay" comments in person and online.

most lolable comment: "have fun at your hen night" when getting of a rain in full cosplay lol harsh but he didnt know what cosplay was but took an interest in it when we told him.

Im quite lucky i guess mum supports it eve helps me if i get stuck on my cosplays as she used to be in medievil society and dressed up all the time for that making costumes. And she used to make mine when i entered horse shows.

My boyfriends mum also loves sewing so she likes it but is constantly saying "thats too short" or "thats too reveling" when its just how the character is =\ i dont think parents get the idea behind sticking to the reference images lol.

the worst for comments is my brother well two of his favorite saying are "stop playing dress up and get a life" and "Freak show alert" so im sure you can guess what the rest of his views are on it.


but dispite all this i cosplay because i want to and i like doing it its my hobby ill do what i like its a free country =D make harsh comments all they like not gonna make a difference =P


22 May 2011 - 10:1257261
I must be lucky since my mum supports me fully in cosplay and finds it to be really cool .__. she even picks up my cosplays from Tokyo Toys when I'm stuck at school with an exam or something xD Erm, harsh comments.. I don't know if this is one but it really bummed me out for the rest of the day. So I was sitting in class with a friend and note that he's very straightforward and at times, he's quite mean and harsh (so I hit him a lot). Anyway, I was telling him about my cosplay last year (Chrona Makenshi from Soul Eater) and he scoffed 'I saw that, you kind of ruined the character. I mean, first of all, her skin's totally pale and you're yellowish and plus, you didn't do a good job with making Ragnarok, you're too short and you're not skinny enough, you look nothing like her. I've seen way better cosplayers.' And I was just like '.... Right.' I didn't care about the 'I've seen better cosplayers' comment since of course, that's true, but what bummed me out was the whole 'why you ruined the character' speech. =___= He later apologised after finding out how seriously I took it but he made me feel worse with the apology by saying 'SORRY, but I was just saying the truth. Besides, I'm sure other people agree with me.' *sigh* What a guy. I mean seriously, isn't it just the love of cosplay that counts?


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Last edited by Clover-tan (22 May 2011 - 16:00)
22 May 2011 - 14:4157282
Quote Blue_Clover:
I must be lucky since my mum supports me fully in cosplay and finds it to be really cool .__. she even picks up my cosplays from Tokyo Toys when I'm stuck at school with an exam or something xD Erm, harsh comments.. I don't know if this is one but it really bummed me out for the rest of the day. So I was sitting in class with a friend and note that he's very straightforward and at times, he's quite mean and harsh (so I hit him a lot). Anyway, I was telling him about my cosplay last year (Chrona Makenshi from Soul Eater) and he scoffed 'I saw that, you kind of ruined the character. I mean, first of all, her skin's totally pale and you're yellowish and plus, you didn't do a good job with making Ragnarok, you're too short and you're not skinny enough, you look nothing like her. I've seen way better cosplayers.' And I was just like '.... Right.' I didn't care about the 'I've seen better cosplayers' comment since of course, that's true, but what bummed me out was the whole 'why you ruined the character' speech. =___= He later apologised after finding out how seriously I took it but he made me feel worse with the apology by saying 'SORRY, but I was just saying the truth. Besides, I'm sure other people agree with me.' *sigh* What a guy.


Ah I know that feeling =___= I have a friend who has never cosplayed in his life but he's read up on so many "4chan"ish threads about it he thinks he can judge your cosplay ¬__¬ So many times I've said on FB that I'm planning a cosplay and he says "oh god please don't" and I take it personally, I know I shouldn't but that's just who I am, I am working on it though. One cosplay plan I asked him what was actually wrong with it and he said very bluntly "you're too fat, too short, it won't look good enough" and it ended up being very drama when a lot of my cosplay friends commented back telling him off ^___^;;; I am now actually doing that cosplay plan because, well, as much as he sounds like he knows what he's talking about he's never cosplayed so he doesn't have the experience that my other friends do....


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22 May 2011 - 14:5757284
I generally tend to allow "harsh" comments to slide off me back when I get em from me family (mostly my brother but he's an uncultured swine who lives in his X.Box and thinks of a dog when ya mention Beethoven!)

And I am a firm believer of constructive critasium. Thus far I've given myself the most harsh comments as it isn't really safe to cosplay around my chav infested home town


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22 May 2011 - 15:1257286
Wow, I feel sorry for all of you who has parents that are harsh like that! My mum ADORES that I cosplay, and she even wants to cosplay with me!! XD

My dad doesn't really have an opinion of it, I've told him that I'm dressing as Link (since we used to play Zelda together alot) and he was like "Oh, cool." but didn't give any harsh comments or anything.

My harsh comments tend to come from people at school (luckily I've left now, and people in college might be nicer about it?) who would make snide jokes about the fact I play videogames/watch anime/read manga/cosplay and so on. But I'd just presume that's jelousy or lack of understanding ^^


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22 May 2011 - 15:4857292
I somehow got really lucky and have managed to drag both my brother (also a big Marvel fan) and my dad (the world's biggest Gerry Anderson fan) into it. So if ya see any guys wandering around cons in a labcoat that says "supercar" on it, that's probably my dad
I think it's good you guys take it on the chin though if mums don't understand. Like many of you have pointed out - it's probably the protector in them


22 May 2011 - 16:0057296
Quote catnip_Dream:
My mum isn't supportive of ANYTHING I do. She doesn't like me watching anime, playing video games, cosplaying, even baking or cooking much (which is really the most shameful because I really want to be a chef =( ) She's never said anything harsh about me cosplaying, and sometimes she'll buy the things (my Yui cosplay she bought everything and my Kannagi wig she bought) but if I show her she'll make a "mm" and talk about something. Her harsh comments sadly come through with my cooking and more specifically, my baking and making desserts, whenever I make a dessert or a cake, she'll either butt in claiming I'm doing it wrong or eat it and NEVER have one good word to say about it, which is quite mean as she went to catering college and was a chef for a short period of time so you'd think she'd pass on her skills....
I tend to ignore my mums comments these days though, on all my hobbies by watching anime regardless if she's about, play video games and cosplay =3 however baking is more difficult I bake at other peoples houses so I can't tell her or she'd be angry for no reason, but she also thinks I don't cook anything so I can't win *saddness*

My dad is mixed. He likes video games, and he won't say bad things about anime to me, but I don't think he cares much for cosplaying, he told me about some cosplayers in Norwich once but didn't say anything bad which is nice =)


Just random thought... Maybe she is trying to assist you with the baking (and such) side of things, by trying to improve your skills by being harsh... If that makes sense?

--

As to comments made by people who've never ever cosplay... I've been annoyed by a couple of things, ie saying that my Quina cosplay was still a human cosplay (I was trying to point out the differences between "human cosplay" ie gijinka and then trying to do the character/thing in it's actual shape... if that makes sense?).

I had spent a deal of time trying to figure out the best way to make Quina look like Quina. And it bothered me that he just sorta brushed it off as a human cosplay...


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Last edited by NixieThePixie (22 May 2011 - 16:05)
22 May 2011 - 18:0357317
Quote GoldieNeko:
I generally tend to allow "harsh" comments to slide off me back when I get em from me family (mostly my brother but he's an uncultured swine who lives in his X.Box and thinks of a dog when ya mention Beethoven!)


that is pratically my older brother, he never gets the hell off and the only anime he's watched was bleach which he claims to be the best anime ever, i'm like no, just no xDD

whenever my family tries to insult or moan about anything i do, i just bring up something which completely kills them off, so i'm not that fussed about my family, even though i live with a friend of mine due to reasons i will not post

but when it comes to harsh comments, i don't think anyone should let it hurt themselves cause that is just what they wanted, and some people call me a very 'crap' cosplayer just because i don't look like the character, well duh no one looks like the character themselves.

but the stupid harsh comments i see are when people call you crap and all that, and they claim they are proffesional cosplayers, okay, they state that, but its only a matter of opinion as for one haven't seen a single photo of your cosplay cause you pratically blocked your entire profile not allowing anyone to see and you got a profile picture of just yourself with no anime/cosplay or whatever on it. so they just be spiteful about it and just try and attack those who are vulnerable on group pages and such and the way they call them professional cosplayers when they spite on an anime group page calling certain animes shit and make people feel bad and had one go at me, but i managed to basically tell them off with an essay, so whatever happens just try and use something to counter with, may not always happens but at least if you gives you some cover fire when you got moaned at for cosplaying or liking anime. ^^


23 May 2011 - 14:2657412
I am genearlly quite lucky with my perents at least trying to be supportive, it's just that sometimes my mum's not too keen on me not being as girly as she'd like me to be. She's helped me to make stuff like my Team Rocket jacket before and she was the one who taught me to use a sewing machine.

It's only when I'm doing stuff like Silent Hill and making grotesque, monster things that it becomes the... "Oh, right, well... um, that's, nice?" Anything cartooney or silly and she's well in there asking how it's done. She's still not 100% sure about my crossdressing/binding, except when it comes to being Peter Pan, which is one of the costumes which she loves. And she was very impressed with my Bob Fossil jacket; quite pleasantly surprised that I'd made it myself without help.

Tbh, my dad's only input into these things was before I was old enough to have my own ebay account, he got a bit worried that my purchases would make people think he was a drag queen... Now dad, who's the one with the gorrilla costume and the hula skirt/coconut bra here? I believe it's you. And, two christmases ago he bought me a wig, which was lovely... I've still not used it yet as I haven't had a character for it yet, but it's beautiful and it's the thought that counts.

My wee brother, not so much, he's dreadfully embarrased by me cosplaying... it didn't stop him trying to get me to make him a full fibreglass Mastercheif costume at one point though. Jog on mate. If you want one of those, you're figuring it out yourself, cos I ain't got a scooby. Though he's starting to come around, I think, since he's now got a few mates who go to cons and cosplay, so I think it's only a matter of time before his Marty McFly costume becomes something that isn't just for Halloween and fancy dress nights at the union.


23 May 2011 - 14:4157414
Quote Charlotte-chan:
my step mum left this comment on a photo of my new cosplay (Flandre Scarlet)which I posted on Facebook
"ha ha ha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahah
you look like an old milk maid!!!"

=.= ...thanks..


I long since removed all family from facebook. They see me irl more than anyone, that's good enough for them.

Flandra Scarlet is awesome, and your step mum doesn't know the associated power of Scarlet. If she knew that Scarlet was an overpowered vampire with enough firepower to destroy half the world, she'd think again.

Superman cosplayers don't get stick, because everyone wants that power.



In any case, I've had to make my hair go white for my scar cosplay. I got "you look like you're 40" from my friends.

Its all part of the dealio, you'll very rarely look exactly like the character, best you can do is a real life approximation. How you feel in cosplay is a little more important about how you look, otherwise you wouldn't be doing it, right?

And yes, sometimes someone will say something that really goes over the line. My ethnic background is not what you'd think at first, but I'm definitely not from pakistan. Never the less I heard a "P**** shouldn't cosplay" from a guy looking in my direction. Didn't look away fast enough did you?

Unnacceptable.


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