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29 Jul 2013 - 05:35105391
Help with a cosplay decision.
I hope you all can help please. I am the guy who dresses as wonder woman for charity. Who has a son that is dying from muscular dystrophy. I went to a big show a few weeks ago in costume, a friend came with me and another met us there. Part way through the morning four people came up to us and asked about the costume, they were also in costume. I explained about son , the money I raised, the weight I lost, and why i do it. They asked us t follow them to the cosplay area and we agreed. When we got there they pointed out the changing booths and asked me to change. They didn't like my costume. I decided i didn't want trouble so I started to change, one of the girls actually pulled open the door to make sure that I was changing. I felt uncomfortable about it. 2 of them said they didn't lke my costume and they all said my costume lowered the tone and I was making them look bad.
I don't know if I want to come to the shows anymore, either to collect for charity or just to go and enjoy.
You guys decide is my costume good enough or should I stop.?


29 Jul 2013 - 08:39105392
Dude, it's perfectly good. And it looks like those people don't know how to take a joke! Especially for your cause. You're not the one in he wrong here, it's them


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They call me Daddy Toby cos I dance like an old man
29 Jul 2013 - 09:43105394
I'm really shocked that they would force you to change. It's completely out of order to tell someone what they should wear. It's a great costume and a very good cause but even if that wasn't the case it's not okay to bully someone like that!


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29 Jul 2013 - 09:47105395
I'm going to assume the individuals who hassled you weren't official representatives of the show you went to, but either way you need to report this to the show organisers. What these people did was unacceptable. It was bullying and harassment. Ideally you'd have reported it immediately so something could be done, but I know how hard it is to think straight when you're put on the defensive.

If anything like this happens again, get to a steward/marshall before doing anything else.

*steps down from soapbox*

Now as to your question: Do you still find dressing up as Wonder Woman rewarding and/or enjoyable? If the answer is yes, then keep doing it. The only reason to stop is when it stops feeling worthwhile.


29 Jul 2013 - 10:23105398
Also what Pandora says is right on the money. If the event organisers are doing their job then they shouldn't be tolerating this kind of harassment.


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29 Jul 2013 - 11:23105402
OMG! That is totally out of order of those four people. I'm utterly furious for you about it! I would have given them a total earful had I seen it happen!

If you still want to do it, you totally should. What you do is amazing and if they can't see that then they should go find a bin to live in cause that where rubbish like them belong.

As to the question, it's totally up to you if want to do it anymore. Personally, your costume is fantastic. Those four people are just through and through bullies. They ought to feel ashamed of themselves.

As to what pandora says, you should report it. They are in the wrong, entirely and utterly in the wrong. You shouldn't feel bad at all. I have a lot of respect for what you do, and it's for such an amazing cause.


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Ayacon Plans
29 Jul 2013 - 12:59105404
They didn't like the look, I wasn't true to the character. They asked me, not forced ,to change. I could in hindsight gone to the people in charge but what do I say--- a character bullied me i don't know his name and there is 15 of that character in the building. 14 who are innocent, 1 who can lie and say differently. Fight? i am ex military, ex special forces, ex us football player, those of you who have seen me know I am big. The only thing I fear is my son dying from this desease. So that is out, and it would look bad.
I want to do the character cause its my son's favorite,and the first comic i ever read. I raise a lot of money £3200.00 so far this year for 2 charities. It brings a laugh to others. I want to enjoy myself but not to have trouble.


29 Jul 2013 - 13:45105418
Quote superwondergirl:
They didn't like the look, I wasn't true to the character. They asked me, not forced ,to change. I could in hindsight gone to the people in charge but what do I say--- a character bullied me i don't know his name and there is 15 of that character in the building. 14 who are innocent, 1 who can lie and say differently.


I'm not going to force you to do anything (that would make me as bad as your bullies), but please think about the big picture here.

What gives them the right to dictate who can cosplay, as whom, and how? You're an adult and can stand up for youself, but what if their next victim isn't as strong or considerate as you, or refuses to change? What will they do then?

Bullies like this are poisoning the hobby. Cosplay is for everyone, not those that some self-appointed "cosplay police" deem worthy.

Don't let them ruin the good you do.


29 Jul 2013 - 13:59105429
It's something that comes up in discussions of harassment at conventions, too often the victims don't speak up because they don't want to cause a scene or make a fuss. Now its completely understandable why you in your situation felt reluctant to make something of the incident but the flip side is trying to stop this happening in the future. I think sadly you are right in that people who do this sort of think at larger events its very hard to track down and punish the perpetrators, however by informing the organisers they can at least be aware enough to keep a lookout for this sort of behaviour.

Although this isn't what was being discussed I think a lot of what was brought up in the "cosplay =/= consent" thread is relevent.


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29 Jul 2013 - 16:36105435
Unfortunately I've often heard of people being harassed because others didn't think they should cosplay who they like. This is the first time I've heard of people being asked the change, which is ridiculous. Cosplay is not an elitist hobby - really, everyone should cosplay what they like. It's the rude ones like those who approached you that're ruining cosplay and that quite frankly make me ashamed to be a cosplayer.
As for what to do - every person who stands up to idiots like this helps cosplayers - as previously mentioned, lots of people are too shy or scared (especially if approached by a group) to stand up for themselves, but as a community we have to show that only tolerance and appreciation of one another is acceptable rather than this nonsensical bullying. Maybe if enough of us tell idiots like this to go away, or make a scene and shame them publicly, they might get the hint and leave nice people be.
I have a lot of respect for people who use cosplaying to raise money for charity. Certainly more respect than I have for people who simply try to act elitist and make others miserable, so I sincerely hope this doesn't put you or anyone else off cosplaying who they want.


29 Jul 2013 - 17:41105438
It doesn't matter if your costume wasn't up to their standards, it's your cosplay to raise money for your charity of choice. No one should pressurise you to change out of cosplay and even though you may feel nothing can be done about the bullies now, if you let the event organisers know what happened then they can be extra aware at the next event they host and keep their eyes out for bullies trying to escort other cosplayers to the changing area.

You look great in your Wonder Woman cosplay and you're doing a great thing. If you think it's time to stop then retire your costume, but please don't let someone else make that decision for you.


29 Jul 2013 - 21:16105442
I'm horrified to hear this, and I'm so sorry that this happened to you.
I agree with others, should it ever happen again, go straight to someone in charge. They had no right to tell you to change, and also to physically watch you? (Well, peek in) Is not on.
It really sickens me that there are still people like this that bully and harass others in cosplay, even more so when you're doing it for such a great cause.
What you're doing is amazing, you look great in costume and I admire everything about you doing it.
I'm so sorry that you had such an awful experience, I think I would have cried in that situation! I hope it never happens again.
Please don't stop what you're doing because of them. xXx


30 Jul 2013 - 05:55105449
Thank you for your replies
The guys at work are glad that i didn't fight, they know what I am capable of. And they tell me if i want to keep doing it I should, My famaily say the same thing. As most of my friends.
I have traveled in costume to the event in costume many times and never had a bad word. Some questions but no problems. I thought that cosplay was an individuals take on a character, there will never be a perfect cosplay. And we can all see each other, 10 batmans 20 jokers 20 dr who's etc. Its the person take that makes it fun. As some of you know i have lost weight 14 stone so far and keeping it off. I have learned to get myself dressed and do my own hair and make up, i now have a new respect for wife and women.I do street collections every week end for 2 charities and I am booked up till next march. And never had a real problems,
I am thinking about coming up to the winter LFCC. What do you think?


30 Jul 2013 - 18:47105473
Quote superwondergirl:

I am thinking about coming up to the winter LFCC. What do you think?


I think you should definitely go!

Don't stop doing what you do just because some idiotic bullies with self esteem issues felt the need to be horrid to you just to make themselves feel better (I cannot stand people who bully!).

I work with youngsters with DMD so I think what you do is awesome.


30 Jul 2013 - 19:04105475
Yeah, you should definitely go! You can't let people like that put you off.


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31 Jul 2013 - 08:10105496
Wow thank you all here and other places for your support. Everybody is cheering me on I really appreciate it. The following has happened. Some people from work want to come up and spend the day with me at the show . My sister sent me a pair of stainless steel wonder woman bracelets, some of the girls gave me a ring and necklace with the ww logo on it, the w on the neclace is 4 inches long, my wife and her friends bought a red corset and now think i should wear it to the next event,( yes they tried it on me as long as I don't bend or breath i should be fine) Like an elegant wonder woman. Corset, long skirt, bracelets belt and lasso, necklace and the rest of the look. I hope to put on a picture if someone could explain how please.
what do you think? I plan to show up at the event and if it happens again I will make sure the right people know what is happenning.



Last edited by superwondergirl (31 Jul 2013 - 08:13)
31 Jul 2013 - 09:49105498
Ooh I'd love to see the new costume additions =D
I'm glad you are going to continue doing what you have been though =D x


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